Money can be an uncomfortable topic to discuss, but it’s necessary to address it early when planning for your parents’ care as they age. Many of us take for granted that our parents are going to be on their own for a long time, likely because we see them as the providers that they have always been for us.
Retirement is a phase of life that requires planning. You have your own financial worries; a mortgage or car payments, tuition for the kids and general expenses. This means that having an honest conversation about a budget that works for everyone can prepare you for the cost of caring for your elderly loved ones.
Tips to help you talk with your family
- Gather your financial information including expenses, savings, goals and income
- Ask your parents to do the same
- Set up an evening to meet so everyone can attend
- Make a list of concerns and positive points
- Be prepared to discuss illnesses and physical limitations
- Be ready for resistance on topics like living arrangements or medical care
- Try not to force your ideas on your parents
- Treat everyone with dignity and respect
Work together to make a plan
Creating a plan that helps you balance your obligations and caring for your aging parents can reduce stress and outline reasonable objectives.
Costs of nursing care
The expenses involved in caring for the elderly can be overwhelming, but there are ways to manage within a budget if you commit to a plan that works for your parents’ needs.
Think about their health and any medical condition that requires supervision, treatment and/or supplies (e.g. bandages, walkers or other moving equipment), and make a list of costs that are covered by private or public insurance. Calculate the costs of caring for your loved ones and explore insurance or government benefits.
Living arrangements
Agree on living arrangements based on practical factors such as space, budget and care requirements.
Many seniors can remain in their own home while receiving quality health care such as mobile physiotherapy or foot care. Learn about the benefits of private home nursing care and set up an assessment to see if this option could work for your family.
Ontario’s health services provide care at no cost in some circumstances, but often don’t cover everything. Why not consider supplementing CCAC (Community Care Access Centres) services with private care?
If your parent would prefer to live independently but in a community environment, you can visit local retirement homes to learn about costs and meet the staff. It’s really important for them to feel comfortable and safe in any new environment.
Make adjustments
It can be difficult to ask for help, so when a senior sees their children arguing over who is going to bear the burden of caring for them, it can affect their mental health in a negative way. Empathy toward your mother or father can focus your perspective and give you the motivation to make adjustments that will improve everyone’s comfort level.
Have everyone who is able to share duties in the event of an emergency commit to a task to reduce the chances of one person taking on more than they can handle.
Many human resources policies offer a compassionate approach to caring for aging parents. Ask your employer about flexible hours or telecommuting so you can work with health care providers and possibly be at home more often if your parent requires supervision.
Respect your parents’ wishes
It’s very easy to forget, while you are trying to juggle everything, that the way you’ve decided to manage life may not be the way your parents want to manage theirs. No one wants to completely give up their lifestyle, so the value of compromise can make things more pleasant for everyone.
Ask your parents to visit a lawyer or notary public to establish a will that outlines their final wishes with regard to medical care, asset distribution and power of attorney in the event of mental/physical incapacity.
Halton Community Legal Services offers some guidelines to help you get started on things like preparing a will, setting up a power of attorney for personal care and how seniors can protect themselves from the misuse of powers of attorney.
How can Milestone Health Services Halton help?
Our team at Milestone Health Services Halton is committed to providing the highest standard of home nursing care. We want you to feel good about deciding to invite us into your home, and want you to feel that you’re receiving the best value for your money.
If you choose to live in a retirement home, Milestone Health Services Halton can refer you to one that meets your needs, and can work with the staff there so you receive consistent, comprehensive health care.
Contact us for a complimentary assessment, and you’ll be able to bring some information to the family discussion. Use our online contact form, or call us at 1-888-509-9394 or 905-864-9020.