Parent accepting help



Many seniors refuse the care they need. If this sounds like your parents, there are solutions that can help!


It’s a difficult decision to allow someone into the privacy of your home, especially when they are there to help with something as personal as bathing or dressing. The need for help to many seniors is often a sign that they are losing their independence, and during this transition they begin to realize that they can’t do the simple things as easily as they once could. This is often a difficult realization and can cause aggravation and a refusal to accept any service.

If your loved one is resistant to care, it is important to walk a line of respecting their feelings, but being strong enough to get the care in place to help maintain their safety. This is a difficult task and the situation will need to be approached in a manner that eases them into this lifestyle change.

Just remember that it is important to show a caring, accepting attitude and to be patient. Keep the following suggestions in mind:


  • Introduce the idea slowly by bringing it up in conversation a few times a week. Be sure it’s a time when they are not aggravated or stressed from other things. Pick your times wisely and give them time to accept the idea.
  • Consider a trial period where they can meet a support worker for a short time. Perhaps a short visit with a caregiver that has a matching personality might break down the barriers. Be sure the first visit is more about conversation and fun, rather than support and work.
  • Frame it differently so that your loved one sees other benefits of the service. Sometimes seniors are more willing to accept help if its described as helping the family. For instance, if a caregiver can make meals and clean the house, then adult children don’t have to do it.
  • Start the Support Worker with household chores, NOT personal or “hands on” care. Slowly introduce other tasks or personal care only once the senior is comfortable with the caregiver.
  • If your loved one insists on staying home but is refusing help, take them on a tour of some retirement homes or nursing homes to show them the alternative. Most seniors prefer to stay in their home and may be willing to accept the help required to stay there.
  • Often seniors will listen to their physician. Ask their doctor to suggest a plan that includes a Home Care.
  • Seniors are often worried about the cost of services, especially since their generation is not used to spending money on themselves in this way. Remember that most of today’s seniors grew up in the Depression and World War years. Money is always on their mind.

The Milestone Health Services Approach in the Halton Region:

Milestone Health Services Halton is owned by health care professionals and we truly understand how to handle the resistance to accept help. In fact, the majority of the care we provide is initiated by the adult children of seniors because seniors rarely initiate this on their own. In most of these cases, the biggest challenge is helping their parent accept the help in their home, even when they need it.

This is a major reason why we offer a free, no-obligation consultation with a nurse. During this consultation, our nurses have an open conversation with our clients about their concerns and will take time to understand their reasons for resistance. We help our clients understand that we are there to keep their independence for as long as possible. We can often convince your loved ones that the care they need is the care they want.

In these situations we always suggest starting services slowly and ensuring that we gather feedback and input from our client to ensure they feel part of the decision process.

If you are experiencing the dilemma of your aging parents refusing care, contact us today to discuss the situation to see if our caring professionals can help.